


Fall Asleep, Sammy

by CheshireMoon



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Death, Ficlet, Hurt, Last episode possibility
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-22
Updated: 2014-04-22
Packaged: 2018-01-20 08:57:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1504418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheshireMoon/pseuds/CheshireMoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Fate, it seems, has finally caught up with the Winchester brothers and their rogue angel,” Castiel whispered to himself bitterly, gazing down at Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fall Asleep, Sammy

Cas’ breaths came in short, rough, broken pants as he looked around himself.  The demons lay dead around him, the heavy scent of blood hanging in the air.  His hand clutched the deep gash in his side, willing the bleeding to stop.  He couldn’t do anything about the rest of the wounds.  They were all serious, but he would be fine so long as he, Dean and Sam got somewhere safe soon enough. 

“We’re okay, they are dead,” he said gratefully, turning to look to Sam and Dean.  The blade fell from his hand and clattered to the ground and he stumbled forward, a broken “No,” breaking free of his lips.  The first thing he saw was Dean’s unmoving, lifeless body.  A small tremor rocked his body.  He took two halting steps towards him before a garbled sound struck his ears.  Sam’s long, lean form was sprawled across the ground, blood pooling beneath him from far too many wounds.  Awful, gasping sounds escaped his shattered body.  Cas went to him quickly, kneeling beside him.

“Sam,” he said, his voice just a breath.  Sam’s head turned towards the ex-angel, and Cas could see that the hunter was very nearly gone.  His eyes were glazed and distant.  A weak smile tugged at Sam’s lips as his hazel eyes fell on Castiel.

“H-hey Dean.”  A small shock went through Castiel’s body and tears sprung unbidden to his eyes, the wetness foreign to him.

Without thought, he responded in his best imitation of Dean’s voice, “Hey there, Sammy.”  As tired as Sam was, joy still infused his features, chasing away some of the pain.  Trembling, Castiel scooped up the large, broken man into his arms, drawing him into his chest.  He was too delirious and gone to notice that it wasn’t his brother, and useless as Cas thought himself to be, he wanted at least to provide comfort to the man he had come to consider a brother.  He gazed down at Sam’s face.  It had become so childlike despite the blood that pervaded everything.

“Guess I screwed up, huh Dean?  Sam said with a gurgling laugh.  Cas shook his head, pressing his lips together for a moment before he could answer.

“No, no.  You.. uh… you did great, Sammy.  It’ll be fine, you did great.”  Silent tears tracked their way down the ex-angel’s cheeks.  Sam practically glowed at what he thought were his big brother’s words.  Old feelings of resentment and anger seemed to have left him through his grievous wounds, seeping out of him even as his life was.

“I’m sorry, Dean.  I’m sorry for everything.  You’re my brother and I haven’t really been acting like you are lately.  I’ve been a bitch,” Sam said suddenly in a rushed, slurred voice.  Cas glanced over at Dean’ still form and his heart clenched painfully as he said what he hoped Dean would have said.

“It’s okay, Sammy.  It’s my job to put up with my pain in the ass little brother.  I don’t mind,” Cas whispered.  The worry and tension that had begun to creep into Sam’s face fled, and his expression returned to the childish one from before. 

“I’m tired, Dean,” Sam murmured, turning his face into Cas’ chest.

“I know, Sammy.  I know.”  Cas said, his voice breaking dangerously.

“I don’t want to leave you alone though, Dean.  You’re not good at being alone.”  Sam’s voice was barely there, just the whisper of a breath.  Cas closed his eyes tightly, trying to stem the flow of tears.  He despised crying.

“I’ll be okay Sam, promise,” he mumbled.

“Are you sure?”  Cas opened his eyes at the realisation that Sam was alive only because he was afraid of leaving his brother alone.   Before he could say anything, Sam continued haltingly, “You can’t… just give up or… go crazy again, Dean.  Cas needs you.  Cas needs you, and he’ll make sure you’re alright.”  Castiel finally thought that he could understand the human idea of a “broken heart,” because he felt something snap in him.  Cas needed Dean.  He needed Dean but Dean was gone.  And Cas couldn’t take care of him, because he had failed. 

“Dean?”  Sam prompted him weakly.

“I won’t give up.  You’re tired, you don’t have to stay for me anymore.  Just fall asleep, Sammy.”  He put a hand to the side of Sam’s face and felt the man’s body relax.  One more breath moved through him and then Sam was gone.  Castiel’s body bowed over Sam’s still one, still clutching him to his chest, trembling uncontrollably.  He suddenly felt the weight of his humanity.  He pressed two fingers to Sam’s temple, willed with all his heart that a blue light would stream through the man’s body and bring him back to the land of the living, but no such thing happened.

He suddenly became aware of the pain radiating from the wound in his side.  His head felt light, and his vision blurred when he raised his head from where it had come to rest on Sam’s chest.  He could vaguely feel blood continue to seep from the wound.  He lowered Sam to the ground and moved away from the corpse, between the two brothers, who had been downed not too far from one another. 

“Fate, it seems, has finally caught up with the Winchester brothers and their rogue angel,” Castiel whispered to himself bitterly, gazing down at Dean.  His face was smooth, no lines of pain or stress or worry there to mar the beauty.  Castiel tilted his head to the side, pushing the pain of his wound to the back of his mind.  He just wanted to be with his two most beloved people, wanted to remain by their sides.  He was useless to anyone; he couldn’t even keep Sam and Dean alive. 

Time passed slowly, as if his mortality was taunting him.  When he had been ethereal and eternal, time went by quickly.  He had not cared about its passing and so did not mark it, but now each minute was painful, each second was another that he was away from the Winchesters, away from his brother and from the great love of his existence. 

He eventually grew so lightheaded that he was forced to lay down, else he would black out.  He stretched his body out beside Dean’s.  He took the man’s worn hands in his, finding some warmth still in them. 

“I’m so sorry, Dean.  I’m sorry I could not save you and that I could not save your brother.  I am sorry to have failed you so often when I was meant to be your guardian, when I was meant to protect you.”  He squeezed his eyes closed.  His breaths were coming in shorter intervals, his heart beating weaker, but he had no inclination to try to move to go find help for himself.  His place was with the Winchesters, as it always had been.  He had forsaken Heaven and braved Hell for them, dying with them then seemed oddly appropriate. 

His scattered mind clung to the hope that perhaps, since he had become human, he would be allowed into Heaven with the Winchesters.  To spend an eternity with them in painless bliss seemed so sweet. 

“I’m sorry, Dean,” he repeated senselessly to himself, over and over, the words becoming more slurred and broken with each repetition.  His grip on Dean’s hands began to loosen, but he still hooked his fingers into the spaces between Deans’.  He reached for a memory, something he could say or do that would help earn Dean’s forgiveness before he saw him again.  His broken, delirious mind latched onto a single memory.

_“Cas, what the hell are you doing with that old thing?”  Dean’s voice startled him, and he looked up innocently from the old radio he was fiddling with._

_“I found it and Sam helped me fix it,” he responded, glowing with pride before going back to twirling the little knob.  Dean leaned over the back of the chair, gazing down at the radio in the angel’s hands._

_“Couldn’t you have just mojo’d it?”  He asked after a moment.  Cas shrugged._

_“I could have, but I much preferred having Sam show me how to fix it with my hands.  It was… fascinating.”  A station finally came in, and the sweet strains of Johnny Cash’s “You Are My Sunshine” filtered into the room.  Dean’s eyebrows shot up._

_“Damn, I haven’t heard this song in forever.”  Cas glanced up at Dean again, finding a tiny smile on his lips.  He stared for a moment, before gazing down at the radio once more, committing the lyrics of the song to memory.  If it made Dean happy, it was worth remembering._

“You… you are my sunshine.  My only s-sunshine,” Cas sang in a strained voice, looking directly at Dean.  “You make me happy, when skies are grey.”  His vision dipped out for a moment, momentarily turning everything black.  His mouth continued to work, though no sound came out, so when he came to fully again, he was still singing, “…my sunshine away.  The other night dear…”  He gave Dean’s hand a weak squeeze, “As I laid sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms…”  He let his eyes slip closed, his lips twitching with the words still, the breath he had left going towards finishing the song.  He had to finish the song for Dean, he had to make sure Dean would forgive him for failing him and Sam.  “When I awoke dear, I was mistaken, so I hung my head and cried.”  One tear slid from the corner of his eye, but he didn’t have the strength to sob anymore.  He went utterly still but for his mouth.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.  You make me happy…”  The words trailed off.  A rattling breath wracked his body, and then he was still.

%MCEPASTEBIN%

**Author's Note:**

> My other Fics/Ficlets:  
> A Home Beneath the Stars: http://archiveofourown.org/works/1135366/chapters/2295273  
> Being Human: http://archiveofourown.org/works/1478029  
> All That Remains: http://archiveofourown.org/works/1462684  
> You Are Done, My Wayward Son: http://archiveofourown.org/works/1301734


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